“I’m the power of attorney, so I’ll be handling everything.”
It’s one of the most common things I hear at the arrangement table.
And it’s almost always a misunderstanding.
Every so often, a family sits down at the arrangement table and someone opens with a statement said with full confidence: “I’m the power of attorney, so I’ll be handling everything.” And I understand why. That person has often been the one at every doctor’s appointment. They’ve managed the medications, handled the paperwork, and made every hard phone call for months, sometimes years. Of course they assume they’re in charge. It’s one of the most common things we see at Piasecki Funeral Home, and it’s almost always a misunderstanding.
Here’s what I have to explain: in Wisconsin, a power of attorney ends the moment a person dies. So does guardianship. And being named the executor or trustee of the estate doesn’t give you the right to plan the funeral, either. Three of the most common legal designations families rely on, and not one of them governs who decides what happens at the funeral home.
I’m not sharing this to add stress. I’m sharing it because confusion about this, when it surfaces at the arrangement table, is one of the hardest things a grieving family can face. This article is meant to clear it up before it becomes a problem, and to show you exactly how to make sure the right person is in charge. If you’d like to learn more about advanced planning options or want to get to know our team before reaching out, we’ve made that easy.
Note: I’m not an attorney, and laws vary by state. This article addresses Wisconsin only.
Why Does This Come Up So Often?
The misunderstanding is universal, and completely understandable. If you’ve spent years as someone’s power of attorney, navigating a cancer journey or a long, slow decline, you earned every bit of trust your loved one placed in you. You showed up. You made the hard decisions. You carried the weight.
The law draws a hard line at the moment of death. Different documents govern different stages:
- A healthcare or financial POA governs decisions while someone is alive.
- A will or trust governs the estate after death.
- A separate document, the Authorization for Final Disposition, governs the decisions surrounding the disposition of someone’s remains and plans for their funeral services.
I bring this up in nearly every presentation I give to senior groups around Kenosha. Without fail, someone pulls me aside afterward. They had no idea these were three separate things. Most people don’t, until someone tells them.
What Are the Three Designations That Families Confuse?
Let me walk through each one plainly.
Power of Attorney (POA): While You Are Alive Only
In Wisconsin, the two most common forms are the Healthcare POA and the Financial POA. Guardianship is a related, court-ordered version. All three end the moment the person dies. After that, a POA carries no special authority at the funeral home.
One more thing worth knowing: even while you’re alive, a POA cannot designate someone else as your funeral decision-maker on your behalf. That has to come from you, while you’re still legally competent.
Executor or Trustee: After Death, But Only for the Estate
An executor is named in your will to settle debts, distribute assets, and manage accounts. A trustee does something similar for assets held in trust. These are important roles, but their authority covers money and property, not your body and not your funeral. An executor or trustee can close your bank accounts. They don’t have the legal right to choose burial versus cremation, or decide where services are held.
Authorization for Final Disposition: The One That Actually Controls the Funeral
This is the Wisconsin-specific document that determines who has legal authority over your body and your funeral arrangements. It’s separate from your will, your healthcare directive, and any POA. If you haven’t completed one, Wisconsin law falls back on a default priority order, which may or may not reflect what you actually want.
Who Does Wisconsin Law Say Decides?
Without a completed Authorization for Final Disposition, Wisconsin follows this priority order:
- Your legally married spouse. Not a divorced ex-spouse, not a long-term partner. Wisconsin does not recognize common-law marriage. “We’ve been together for thirty years” means nothing to the law if you never formally married.
- A majority of your adult children. Not the oldest, but a majority. Two children means both must agree. Three children means two must agree. One child cannot override the others.
- Your parents.
- A majority of your siblings.
That’s the law’s determination of who will make decisions. It may not be yours. If you’ve remarried and have a complicated family, if you’re unmarried, or if the person you trust most isn’t on that list, the default order may not serve your family well at the time of your death.
What Does This Look Like in Real Life?
These are hypothetical scenarios. But they reflect situations families encounter at the arrangement table more often than most people expect.
“But I was Dad’s POA for ten years.”
Imagine a daughter who cared for her father through a decade of declining health. Every appointment. Every prescription. Every difficult conversation. She arrives at the funeral home assuming she’ll make every decision. In Wisconsin, if her father had three adult children, at least two must agree on arrangements, including the brother who hasn’t been involved. Her POA gives her no special authority after death.
“We were together for thirty years. We just never got around to remarrying.”
Imagine a couple who divorced, reconciled, and lived together for decades as devoted partners. He named her as his POA. When he dies, she has no legal authority over his funeral under Wisconsin’s default order. His adult children do. The relationship they shared doesn’t appear in the statute. A completed Authorization for Final Disposition would have changed everything.
“I’m the executor. I assumed that was the whole job.”
Imagine a son named in his mother’s will to handle her estate. He assumed that covered everything. What he learns at the arrangement table: he and his two siblings need to reach majority agreement on funeral decisions, regardless of what the will says about her assets. The will governs the estate. It doesn’t govern the funeral.
“My sister and I can’t agree.”
Imagine two adult children, no surviving spouse, and a real disagreement between them. Wisconsin law provides a path: if no authorized person comes forward or reaches agreement within 48 hours of being contacted, authority passes to the next person in the priority order. At Piasecki, we document every attempt to reach family and guide everyone through this process with patience. I have never experienced a family being upset with us as professionals for providing them with the proper guidance. Once they understand it’s the law, not a Piasecki policy, we move forward together.
How Do You Make Sure the Right Person Decides?
Wisconsin offers a simple, free solution: the Authorization for Final Disposition. It is a State of Wisconsin form. Any competent adult can use it to name exactly who they want to make their funeral decisions, whether that’s a partner, a close friend, a stepchild, or a sibling. It overrides the default legal order entirely.
A few important rules:
- It must be completed while you are alive and legally competent.
- A POA cannot complete it on your behalf.
- It is separate from your will, your healthcare directive, and any POA document.
The form is available free through the Wisconsin Department of Health Services at dhs.wisconsin.gov/forms/advdirectives. The specific Authorization for Final Disposition (form F-00086) is at dhs.wisconsin.gov/library/collection/f-00086.
Thinking through this form, and making sure the person you name understands your wishes, is something we help families do during a complimentary preplanning visit with Ron Nelson or Laura Freeburn.
What Happens When No One Steps Forward?
Sometimes a family is difficult to reach, or those with authority can’t agree. Wisconsin law addresses this directly. If no one with legal authorization contacts us within 48 hours of being notified, that authority moves to the next person in the priority order. We document every attempt to reach family. Our message is always the same: this is Wisconsin law, and we walk every family through it the same way, every time.
Why This Is the Best Argument for Planning Ahead
Every scenario above goes away when someone has planned ahead. Completing the Authorization for Final Disposition takes less than fifteen minutes. Sitting down with our preplanning team takes a little longer, but it means your family never has to sort out legal questions while they’re grieving. They just follow what you left for them. That peace of mind is for you. And it’s for them, too.
Ron Nelson and Laura Freeburn offer complimentary, no-pressure preplanning consultations. No obligation. Just a conversation. If you’re in the Kenosha area and want to take that step, we’re ready when you are.
Have Questions? Let’s Sort This Out Together.
Whether you’re a POA wondering what authority you actually have, or someone who wants to make sure the right person decides for you, we can help. Call us anytime, day or night at (262) 658-4101. There’s no cost and no obligation. Piasecki Funeral Home has served Kenosha-area families since 1931. We are here whenever you are ready.
